Thursday, October 14, 2010

THIS BLOG IS DEAD

Yellow folks!

If for some reason you've stumbled across this blog looking for some form of insightful update from yours truly then you're kinda in the wrong place because, well, I NO LONGER BLOG.

To be honest I've always found blogging to be quite frustrating actually - Every time I start a post I somehow end up rewriting it over and over and over and over again. I don't know why. I can't explain it. I think I'm just not meant to be a blogger.

So why not delete this entire account then right? Well, backdating on the archive does bring back some sort of sentiment - I figured it'll be nice to one day come back to this blog just for reminiscence sake (you know, like a photo album?) - so hence my decision to keep it floating in cyberspace.

By all means this does NOT mean that I'm no longer active! Au contraire I've been extremely busy on other sites. They're all listed below so be sure to check 'em out!

1. Yuriz Joe's YouTube Page is my life captured on video coz "I VLOG it like it's hawt!" - you don't wanna miss a thing so do subscribe yeah.

2. Yuriz Joe's Facebook Fanpage is a place where I normally "hang out" so do come on over and press that 'like' button.

3. Yuriz Joe's Twitter is where you'll get the-most-up-to-date-updates coz I'm a crazy ass tweetfreak!

See ya'll there! PEACE-sang!!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Till Ya Get Home

Back in January 2008 (yes 2 years ago!) I blogged about a song I was in the process of making called "I miss you (eh oh)". Finally, just over a month ago, I completed that song - and here it is!



Now you're probably thinking "Nice... but where's the 'Eh oh' part??" (the 'nice' part is optional). Here's you answer - I had to remove it =(

I've been told several times in my life that when you have a good idea you shouldn't put it out into the universe until you can execute that idea. Apparently once something is IN the universe, someone else would pick up on it. Now I've never believed it (until now) but herein lies the proof that it holds true - Someone else did it!

Yes, despite seemingly looking like a long shot, another local artist released a song into the market with a similar title, similar use of the word, and has even done a decent job of it! To be honest I did wonder for a split second whether my postings were of any influence, but I scrapped that thought because com'n, who really reads my blog?

So, despite composing the song over 2 years ago, I just couldn't bear the thought of people thinking that I'm a copycat, so I made a last minute decision to remove the 'eh oh' part... which didn't turn out to be so bad after all.

Pushed to a corner, I think I came up with something that is even more catchier - I mean who could forget a line like 'Till ya Till Ya Get Home', especially with the uniqueness of the 'Till ya' part repeating twice? Right? Okay it's subjective - so never mind then - but I think it worked out better so nyeeee! =P

Most important is that it didn't take away the story and the essence of the song, which (if you're wondering) is a true story. Well, more accurately, WAS a true story (ok I acknowledge that's grammatically wrong but you know what I mean). And if you follow my blog, you can pretty much put two and two together. And that's all I gotta say about that...

Enjoy! =)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I wasn't wasting time - I was creating it!

First and foremost, HAPPY NEW YEAR folks!

As a new years gift to all my faithful readers I offer my latest creation - my 2nd complete track entitled Waste of Time!



This song, I admit, has been a pain in my ass since it was first created. Considering I came up with the first draft back in 2005, if I was being literal, I would no longer have been able to sit down during it's final stages!

It all started out with me playing with a plug-in called Stylus. I found an awesome beat that I automatically wanted to include a catchy bass-line and trumpets with as the hook. Unfortunately, not many people shared my enthusiasm at that point and ,as you continue reading, you'll find out that they didn't approve for a long long time.

Oh, before I continue, you really need to know something about my work ethic - I NEVER waste a creation. I rather put in further elbow grease to allow it to evolve rather than to simply throw it away. Ok moving on...

In most cases, my songs go through just a couple of evolutions (or versions if that's less confusing for ya) before it becomes the final product. THIS song however, went through so many that I've lost count!

The file was first called 'Funky Beat' (no lyric at that point so I could only identify it with what it was!) and once a melody came on board it was then titled Too Much. The theme of the song remained the same throughout (about an extremely possessive girlfriend) but the melody & lyrics went through so many changes you wouldn't recognize its current state with its initial.

The really painful process of this song though was the constant evolution of the arrangement. See it started life almost comic-like (in a very cheeky yet sexy kinda way) but because my friends weren't really responding to it, I went back to the drawing board and re-arranged it. Little did I know at the time that I'd be repeating this process over and over and over again over the next few years!

The song then became somewhat more club-friendly R&B but, as it turns out, we then discovered that the hook was too similar to another song called 'Lean Back' by Fat Joe! So, back to the drawing board again, and it then went kinda R&B/Techno cause I had to change the instrument of the hook so as to not resemble Fat Joe's track. Still, it felt 'under-baked'. So I kept on trying other things like slowing the song down (referring to Blackstreets Yo Love), went somewhat a 'tribal' direction, and I even tried rapping various styles to fill in the middle-8 (once like Lil' Wayne!)... but NOTHING seemed to work. People were just not responding to it.

Years (yes YEARS!) of frustration had gone by and it was not until I decided to play around with the 'mute' button (whilst searching for inspiration) that I learned that the problem had been the 'hook' all along! It was somehow too prominent which restricted the song from properly evolving.

After eliminating the hook altogether the ball finally started rolling again. A new hook almost instantly came in and the song finally felt that it was heading towards the right direction. However, I was not quite out of the woods just yet. Re-arranging the song (for what felt like the hundredth time!) was still extremely frustrating cause a lot of stuff just wouldn't sit tight with the melody.

Listening to it now you might think to yourself "what? the song seem so simple!" but let me assure you that it had to go through a whole lot of experimental complications for it to have become, what I like to call it, cleverly simple.

To be honest, I still feel as if the song is still not quite 'there'. Maybe it needs a better mix, or maybe I'm not a good enough producer, or maybe the song itself is just not strong enough. Well, whatever it is, after almost 5 years in the making, I think it's time to let it go and let you guys decide.

Big shout out to my lovely fiancée for her awesome contribution to the intro & middle 8! If it wasn't for her, Lil' wayne would not have been pleased.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Spreading the Jam!

My 1st ever solo single, THE WEEKEND JAM, is finally out! and is spreading like... well, Jam!



Looking back on this blog you can clearly see the repercussion of procrastination. This blog is proof that the "I'll do it tomorrow" excuse can literally make you miss out the next 2 years! This song is the perfect example - If you backtrack on my posts you'll see that its been sitting in my PC since August 2007! Ok, perhaps it was not exactly 'complete' then, but I would say that it was roughly at its 80% mark to completion!!

In contrast, roughly one month ago I got my act together and decided to work on the song again... and it only took 1 week to complete the remaining 20%! Also, within the course of the month of November 09, I've managed to establish a decent following on my Facebook Fan Page, created a YouTube account as a platform to post my music, a Twitter account, and my MySpace page is up and running again! Imagine what I could have done in the 100+ weeks of absence.... Daaangzzz.

Oh well! It's all over and done with. Why focus on the past? The ball is rolling now and it is snowballing! The response for The Weekend Jam has been awesome, and my 2nd single 'Waste of Time' seems to be catching up quick! There's a buzz in the air.... I can feel it.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Of Tunesmiths & Wake Up Calls...

Blogging is kinda like gym huh - you know you SHOULD, but then you're not quite in the mood so you convince yourself that it's ok to put it off for the day. A day turns to two, then it turns to a week and before you know it, you're out of shape again - or in the world of blogs, you fail to post anything for a year and half!

Yeah... that's how long its been since my last post.

But then again, when I think back, perhaps there wasn't much going on in my professional 'music' life that was worth a post. Sure in the last 18 months I've established a company, worked like a dog for that particular company, became an uncle, survived a potential plane crash, & got engaged... but none of it really screams 'Solo Album' - which is what this blog is all about right??

Ok now I'm just lying to myself! Yes I did establish a company - an AUDIO PRODUCTION company! How is that not related to my album?? Duh!

It was strange how the whole thing started. I got a call out of nowhere from my ex-boss asking me to help him out with a project that he just scored. Of course as a freelancer I obviously snatched up the opportunity but somehow soon after we ended up establishing an official business together - registered and all! Thus the birth of Tunesmith Audio Productions.

To be honest, I was kinda conflicted about the idea at first because I was so into making my music that I didn't want to be distracted. However, once logic came into play, it made multiple beneficial sense to warm up to the opportunity. I figured:-

1. I could generate decent income for myself and consequently aid the budget constrictions that I was facing with my album.

2. My 'production' skills were still poor at the time so working for the company would drastically help train my ears.

3. If the company grows so will its equipment list - and this meant getting new toys to play with! Awesome!

So here we are 1.5 years later and did it go according to plan?

Well benefit No.3 worked out modestly well because grow the company did. We now have a decent studio running a Pentium Duo-Core 2.4ghz PC, 2x ESI MAYA44 soundcards, an MBOX Mini 2 with Pro-Tools LE, Behringer Xenyx mixer, Yamaha HS80M's studio monitors, an M-Audio Midi controller, and a few condenser mics to choose from. Not much compared to a full-fledged studio, but considering we started out armed with only an SM58 mic, a Soundblaster Live soundcard, and my old pentium 4 3.0ghz PC - I think we've done quite well thank you very much =P

I'm not too sure about benefit No.2 however. Sure with the new equipment and having to work 16 hour days must have improved my skill as an engineer, but the work mainly dealt with vocal production and not much else. So did I really grow as an all-round producer?? Hmmm.... I can't help but think that if I had stuck to what I was doing before I would have learnt a lot more. Subjective I suppose, so perhaps no point pondering on this one.

Now benefit No.1 ended up being like a bad drug. Of course with the growth of the company came the growth of my wealth, but like a typical homo-sapien I allowed myself to think that the flow of income would not end. "Expense chases the revenue" someone once said, and I was not an exception. I never ended up funding a cent for my album and worst, with the company taking up all my time, I never ended up even working on my album!

My music sat in my hard drive virtually untouched the entire time... and if it wasn't for the horrific Perth-bound airplane journey that my fiance & I were on a few months ago in August, all of it would probably still sit there till this day.

There's something about sitting in a plane like you're in a Final Destination movie that really forces you to quickly evaluate your life. There we were in the midst of an engine failure, flickering cabin lights, no a/c, alarms going off, praying passengers, and a horrible burning smell... and I sat there in complete disappointment with myself. I kept thinking that this could possibly be my last few minutes alive and all I've done for the last 18 months was make excuses for having thrown my passion away.

When the plane landed the realization that we were hanging by a thin thread added to our trauma. Had the other engine gave way, or a complete seizure of the already hay wired electricals was to occur, I wouldn't have had the privilege to tell you today that it was one heck of a wake up call!

I realize now more than ever that life can be taken away at any given time and that's a 100% guarantee. The question is - whether it's in the next few decades or just a few hours from now - just before it ends, will you be satisfied with how you spent your time alive?

I can't help but think about this daily ever since the incident, and I came to the conclusion that nothing else would make me more complete than to love, to help others, and to keep pursuing my passion.

So I suppose as tempting as it is for me to curse the Airline that put us through the horrible incident (btw it's not a 'budget' airline & they did not offer compensation) perhaps I should thank them instead for disturbing my long sleep in the comfort zone.

I'm finally back posting on this blog again and that can only mean that my hard drive is spinning once more =)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

"Silence! I Kill You..."

In my last post I mentioned that perhaps I may leave my unfinished vocal booth just the way it is, especially considering that it works perfectly fine in its current setup... and to be honest, I just don't have the budget (nor the motivation) to finish it off at the moment. Leaving it in its current state however does have its challenges... most obvious would be 'noise' due to its lack of soundproofing.

Luckily, the studio is in the quietest room in the house (well, apartment to be exact). It faces nothing but the hallway, so its virtually oblivious to the construction noises from surrounding areas and public noises from the recreational area. There is the occasional 'noisy neighbour syndrome', but due to the current low occupancy rate the building is still relatively peaceful... for now anyways.

The air-con is a slight issue, but I find that if I cool the room adequately I could switch it off during recording and get a good 10-15 minutes before the room starts to get warm again. Ok, so it might be a problem when sessions need to go for longer but so far I've had no major issues... not yet anyway.

So the only major noise culprit at the moment is none other than the heat-generating always-in-need-of-extra-cooling PC. With multiple fans spinning at around 2000 rpm, the constant ambient sound has so far inevitably made its way into every recorded wave file. Granted that I do use a software that help reduce the unwanted noise, but it can only do so much. Because the program is design to play around with frequencies, using too much of it will compromise the quality of the recording itself as it may alter vital and required frequencies.

What started out as just a simple open-and-look into my PC became two days of intense research and exploration. From simple silent fan upgrades to water-cooled systems to confusing variable-fan-speed Power Supply Units (PSU) that adjusts itself according to system load percentages, I was amazed at how intricate the concept of silencing a PC could be. I learnt that in order to quieten down the PC properly I had to first understand the interrelation between heat generation & cooling, and to understand that, I needed to understand the lingo that come with the subject such as CFM, db, rpm, W, V, hz... u know, all the geeky stuff. Anyways, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I actually understood most of it (coz I didn't), but I'm learning..

Having done all that research however only made it more frustrating because due to my financial shortage I was not able to go out and purchase all the 'good stuff'. All is not lost though as I did have some spare parts lying around the house (mainly from my brother's abandoned PC) so I figured doing 'something' is better than 'nothing'.

I first began with the Northbridge. I had noticed a long time ago that unlike most motherboards that I've seen, my mobo uses a fan to supplement the cooling of its MCH. I had always found this to be unusual and question its necessity, especially considering that others don't really require it. The aim is silence and cutting down unnecessary fan usage is a very good place to start, but I was concerned that if I was to simply remove the fan, the heatsink that it came with may not have been designed to work on its own.

To cut down the risk I decided to replace the whole heatsink/fan combo with a heatsink-only unit taken from my brothers faulty motherboard. It looked as if it could dissipate heat better so it was probably a wise decision.

Next, was to change the CPU cooler. The noise generated from the stock heatsink/fan combo that came with the P4 2.8ghz CPU was too damn loud. I swear it must have at least let out around 45db! Once again, thanks to the well equipped abandoned PC, I managed to upgrade my CPU cooler to a more 'expensive' heatsink, and a quieter silent-fan that I had purchased a while ago. I was a little worried about the airflow at first as the fan only generates 27CFM, but my bro used to run his PC (with the same heatsink) with a 37CFM fan, and had no problems in normal environment temperatures. My studio is air conditioned, so I took an educated guess and assume that it should theoretically be okay. Worth a shot. At only 21db we're talking about reducing more than half the noise here.

As graphically nice as it was to upgrade my graphics card to an Nvidia 6800 (a nice donation by a friend) from an Ati 9250, noise level did move up drastically due the unit requiring the use of a cooling fan. Furthermore, its fan was the noisiest of all the fans in the casing because it was not only tiny, but also faulty. Therefore, a small sacrifice had to be made and I replaced the better card with my old 9250 because of its passive cooling system (no fan, no noise).

There were only a few fans left to attend to, and the bulk of it all were case fans. Not having the budget to go out and purchase new silent ones, I did the next best thing I could do: I installed a fan controller. I figured, if I can't get new ones, I'll slow the current ones down to its bare (yet still working) minimum.

As my brothers PC lay in pieces due to my 'strip and inherit' actions (sorry dude! I'll replace em eventually I promise), it was finally time to check out the results.

Upon startup the PC noise level was noticeably quieter. It was much more bearable.

Next was to test how the computer was running. A quick install of SpeedFan and temperatures seem to be steady. CPU is running in the 50 degree park (+/- 3 degrees) which is standard... Everything else seem to be running smooth too, with the exception of the 2nd HDD that seems to have quite a high reading.. but I'm suspecting that its due to a faulty sensor, cause the temp never seem to fluctuate.. which is truly odd indeed.

Now with a quieter CPU fan, the elimination of the northbridge/mch fan and graphics card fan, and the ability to slow down the case fans, I think I had reduced the noise level by about 35%, which is not bad considering I only relied on spare parts that were lying around the house. However, I plan to reduce the overall level by 85% and I really do believe that a quiet PSU and a specially designed PC case will give me that extra 50% reduction I need.

Now... who owes me money...?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

D.I.Y. Vocal Booth - Phase #1

If you recall one of my past postings (Wardrobe Records) I once attempted to make a vocal booth by using materials that was available from around the house such as shelves, drawers, curtains, etc etc.. and unfortunately it didn't quite work out. There were several reasons for its failure...

First of all the structure was predominantly my wardrobe - which simply was too embarrassing to have anyone step in there and sing amongst my undies. Then there was the height problem - probably no more than 175cm in height it would have made it impossible for somebody taller than myself to use it. Lastly, it was just plain UGLY!

Ever since then I've been contemplating on making a more practical and decent looking booth... and after much research on the internet I finally got off my ass and did it. It was just as well that my sister happened to be around for a visit because help was something that I was going to need.

I started by asking myself "how big do I want it be?". The tiny studio that I operate from is probably only around 70 square feet in floor space, so I don't exactly have a lot of room.

After much thought, I settled on taking slightly less than a quarter of the room space, and planned to make it a perfect square dimension of 4ft by 4ft. To ensure that my tallest talent (who is 6'2") can fit in it properly, I decided the booth should be at 7ft height.

After a little research on material prices, I found out that it was not a good time for me financially to fully complete the booth, but I knew that I needed 'something' function-able in order to proceed with the upcoming projects. I therefore decided to split the project into 2 phases. Phase #1 is building the frame, and phase #2 would be the rest.

So off we went to the hardware store (armed with a scrap piece of paper that I doodled my 'plans' on) and bought myself materials to kick off the first phase.


Material List:

Wood (4x 7" long & 8x 4" long)
Nails
Wood glue

At first I had planned to simply join the wood together at its ends and simply knock nails into the corners... but after much careful thought, I figured that that approach of 'engineering' would probably make the structure superbly weak. So we headed to the store again for some L-shaped brackets and, since the brackets work better with screws rather than nails, we also got ourselves some long-screws and a Phillips-head drill bit.


And so work began early that day at 9am. A lot of careful measuring, marking, drilling, and drill-screwing soon took place and I quickly learned that the project was a lot harder than expected.

The wood was cheap and needed to be sanded down to avoid serious splinters. However, despite it's low price and quality, it was still strong enough to make drilling an absolute chore. So strong in fact that it broke the drill piece.. and that temporarily halted the project as we had to head out again and purchase another one! At that point the day was already half way through, and so far we had only managed to complete one side of the frame!



Making the 2nd frame was not easy either. Another drill bit broke and the work came to another unexpected halt. By the end of the day we had only completed 2 sides of the booth frame. Time was running short and a recording session was due the next day. There was just no physical way for us to finish it off.



We decided to call it a day and work ended at 2am. Two broken drill bits later and we had only done 2 out of the 4 sides. We had to quickly think of a temporary solution if the studio was to accommodate the upcoming recording. The best thing we could think of was to put the 2 complete frames up in an L-Shape, stuff 'em in a corner, and drop curtains around it (hmmm... reminiscence of my 'wardrobe' booth...). Ok so it wouldn't be soundproof, but at least vocals can be recorded without unwanted ambient and wall-bouncing sounds.

Work started the same time the next day day and we began the execution of our plan. Thank god things were a lot smoother the 2nd day; For some odd reason, problems were somehow easier to solve. For example, after putting the frame up to its planned L-Shape, we couldn't find anything to hold them together. We simply rolled a few rounds of masking-tape onto the two frames and problem solved!


After about half a day of assembling the 2 frames, a quick strip of curtains and its railings from around my apartment, the booth was finally done! Well, not quite... Ok so we've only managed to finish half of phase #1 but hey, it'll do for now.

So far the booth does the job... and it does it quite well. Provided that the studio remains quiet during recording (which I foresee could be a slight problem when talents start bringing their friends to recording sessions) I don't quite see the need to rush it to its 2nd phase.

In fact, some have complemented on how good the quality of the vocals are sounding in my recording nowadays. I'm actually considering keeping it this way! Now if only I could get my PC to quieten down...

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

"Oops I did it again.."

"Oops I did it again"... DELAY! This is just getting ridiculous! Hahaha.

Hey for those of you who actually bother to read my blog and are actually anticipating the release of my songs, I truly do apologize. I really really really wanted to post 'em 2 weekends ago but I just haven't had the time.

I had a Monday Deadline on 3 projects on the first weekend (which obviously would take anybody's weekend away), and another project made its way on the weekend past... which I am currently rushing to finish so as to meet tomorrows deadline. So why am I blogging then you ask? Killing time... Talent's not free till 8pm tonight. Which means I'll be burning the midnight oil finishing up on the mix.

Anyways, I'd LIKE to say that I'll have it up by THIS coming weekend, but damn it I just can't trust myself anymore! So, tell you what.. I'll simply stop predicting the posting date and just write about it AFTER I actually post em! lol.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Keepin' Positive

So it's been 4 months now since my life virtually turned upside down, and I finally had a revelation today... well, to be honest, I've had a few already but somehow kept falling off the wagon again and again. So what makes this time different? Absolutely nothing really... but as a friend of mine said, each time you fail, you come back stronger.. so I guess what makes this time distinct is probably because I now have the wisdom to actually try and keep positive in hope to sustain this energy.

A quick recap? Well, I broke up with my girl of 5 years.. need I say more? One broken heart is all it takes to have your soul diminish into thin air.. making you pretty much a useless human being. But hey, keepin' positive right? It was probably for the best. Due to matters that were beyond our control (Hint: Stupid Prehistoric Laws of the land!) we never really did have a bright future painted for us... I'll just leave it at that though. Somehow a debate over constitutional rights is a sensitive issue in this country.

However, I'm pleased to inform you that I have not been totally useless these last few months.

I have recently started a company with my previous boss (who is also a dear friend) specialising in Music Composition. It was rather odd to have an opportunity emerge out of nowhere that suddenly sparked a whole chain of events that has lead to the establishment of the business... but that's how it is. So what was the opportunity? Producing songs for children Television programs. Okay, so it may not be everybody's cup of tea, but it gives me the chance to gain relative experiences and develop my producing/engineering skills rapidly. Plus, the money ain't something to complain about.

Unfortunately, sacrifices had to be made and hence the 'even-further' delay on the release of my songs. For weeks now, between working on multiple jobs for the company and struggling to handle my personal life dilemma, I simply have not had the time (nor the enthusiasm) to even consider moving forward with my album. But hey! It's time to be positive now... and since things have quieten down a little, I'm ready to start again.

I plan to post 3 songs by this Weekend, though the original plan was to post 4. The 4th song - Eh Oh (I Miss You) - is not ready, and I doubt it will be for a while. Due to its 'personal' nature, and because I'm in the spirit of keepin' positive, I don't think it's wise to dwell into the emotions that the song requires at the moment. Fret not, for one day I will be strong enough to complete it.

So what else is new? Gym! That's right. This slightly overweight beer-bellied boy is on his way to looking like a Popstar again. I've been going religiously for 3 weeks now and let me tell you that years of abuse to my body is not easy to repay. However, having combined my workout with careful dieting, I believe I've lost 1-2kgs already... Can't really confirm it as I don't have a weighing-scale, but I'm assuming so cause I can finally fit my old jeans again!

I really gotta give a shoutout to my homie Jack Yeo for getting me started. He came over to KL for a visit and shocked the hell out of me when he came out the arrival hall all buffed and sh!t. Thanks mate! You're my inspiration. LIVE-STRONG!


So I think that's about all the updates I got at the moment. 2 more days and you can finally listen to what I've been rambling about. You're gonna love it, fer sure! Cocky? Hey, I'm Keepin' Positive here!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

What Goes Around, Comes Around..

Not many get to feel what it's like to achieve a lifelong dream. I really do believe that it's something that no one could possibly imagine. Yes, granted you could picture the joys that you would feel by being able to do what you've always wanted... it's a little bit like getting a glass of water when you're extremely thirsty... but you couldn't possibly imagine the consequences that lies ahead, particularly to those that are closest to you.

See, the thing about achieving a dream, is that you naturally get on a (what I like to call it) 'HIGH' - particularly in it's initial stages. When things start happening, you feel invincible, because everything you touch seem to always turn to gold. Your life changes... and your horizon expands. New life, new people, new money... what's not to enjoy??

Unfortunately, the consequence of this is not so much to those who are experiencing it (at least not in the short term), but to those who had supported them before it all began. Usually loved ones, it is the people who held their hand on their way up to success that always seem to get the short end of the stick.

I admit, I am guilty of such an act. When my dreams were realised, I left someone behind in my hometown. Obviously at first you doubt that anything could break the commitment and the loyalty, so you say your goodbyes at the airport like you're just gonna be away for a little while. No big deal.

Then the HIGH begins to set in, and consequently you start to have countless arguments over the phone because for some reason neither one of you understand each other anymore.

She then falls into a bad state of depression. She doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, doesn't care about anything else but to have you home.. her whole life turned upside down due to your absence.

So eventually, she asks from you for the ultimate sacrifice. She asks you to leave behind all that you have going for you and come home... because she just can't hack it anymore. Like the air that she breaths, she NEEDS you by her side. She realised that nothing in this world matters except for your love. Not her job, not all the money in the world, not even her dreams. She just wants YOU.

You, however, can't seem to grasp what she means... or do you? It's funny how we tend to pretend NOT to know something when its convenient.

Guilt starts to eat you up inside, because you know it's selfish, but you feel that for once you deserve to be selfish... this is your lifelong dream! and it's everything you imagined it to be. Why should anyone stop you from having this?

This is where the HIGH begins to cloud your judgment. Before this, you wouldn't have even flinched on the idea of going home if the love of your life needed you. But now, you think differently. Now you start thinking stuff like "I'm coping well on my own, why can't she do the same?" So you still try to negotiate, but she's beyond compromise.

You're torn between two extremes... and the words 'small sacrifice for the greater good' start to whisper in your head. What else can you do?

You finally give her a call to break it off... only months from the time you first waved goodbye to her at the airport, you end the 3 year relationship. You settle on the most politically correct excuse: "I don't want you to suffer anymore. I want you to move on..."

So now you finally get to live your dream guilt-free... but you could never have predicted that eventually, regardless whether or not your dream sustains, the HIGH will end. The guilt will return, and you'd be lucky if it doesn't eat you up inside for the rest of your life or worst, karma returning you the favor.

For me, unfortunately, the worst occurred. Now that my girl is living her dream... what followed was virtually an identical series of events... except now, it's my turn to be on the short end of the stick.

I guess it's true what JT says; "what goes around comes all the way back around"... and I finally feel the pain that I myself caused to someone else before... and to have it end by the same politically correct excuse? Priceless.

I packed her things... and place them all in one corner... only to see this pile everyday... 5 years of beautiful memories... just waiting to eventually be picked up. Safe to say, it is the saddest moment of my life...

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Doin nothin but Eh-Oh Eh-Oh Oh Oh...

"I'm 2 weeks overdue!" Those are the words that keep repeating in my head. I'm only 1 song away but I just can't seem to finish it off. I sit, I stare, I explore, I experiment.. but I get annoyed at every additional arrangement that I try to put in. I've grown to like the song in its demo state... its arrangement so basic that the melody just pops out... and I can't help but feel that all it needs is something subtle to complete it.. but what??

Further to the frustration is the fact that I know (and everyone else seem to agree) that this song IS THE SINGLE. It has the hook, the meaning, the vibe.. everything. Now if only I can find the missing link...

The song is called I Miss You (Eh Oh): a song most meaningful to me due to the spiritual connection of how the song came about. It started out as a simple hum-like tune by my girl just before she left the country for work. After her departure, it was no secret that I went through a hard time adjusting to living life without her. Naturally my thoughts on the matter turned to lyrics and what better way to express them than to use the melody that was made by the same person that I'm writing it for. The song fittingly developed into something really special.. at least for me.

However, unlike every other song that I've composed with inner most deep emotions, the song did not turn out to be a ballad. Instead, it's a catchy up-tempo song that you could actually groove to and lyrics that you could easily sing along with. Odd..

At this point, you're probably wondering what 'Eh Oh' means. Obviously, it has no real definition (at least not according to the dictionary nor in any slang I know) but with reference to the title of this post (which is an extract from the lyrics) I had made it out to imply 'meaningless stuff', which pretty much sums up how I've been living my life since my girl left. Life feels so empty and everything I do seem pointless cause I can't share the experiences with her.. it's all just 'eh oh eh oh'.

Although now it's more of a 'creativity block', initially the delay was due to several reasons. You may notice that I had only 1 post for the whole month of December. Yes I was distracted and was virtually off-track from the project. A few opportunities came up for me to earn some cash and I grabbed it with both hands. I guess economics finally threw in a monkey wrench in my realm of passion: I just can't survive by only making my own music... at least not yet.

However, the job was not far-off from what I do.. just that I'm doing it for someone else. I still worked with music, still engineered, still sang and still recorded. Looking at it positively, I gained experiences of relevance. So, no loss at all.. except time.

My social life played an important role too in the delay. It was a festive season after all!

Ok so 2k8 is finally here and my original plan of posting my songs over the web 'first thing' is obviously not on track. However, I don't really think anyone is anticipating them or really give a sh!t right? I mean seriously, Who really reads this blog??

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

The 'Born' Identity?

Another friend of mine have recently come into the picture (I seem to have a few don't I?). He's an arranger/engineer who's working with one of Malaysia's best producer.. and I must say I'm simply stoked. He had a listen to what I've done so far and he's excited to try and take a shot at achieving the sound that I've been looking for..

That very same night, we had a chat about how I should be approaching my career and thus began a new chapter in this journey: Identity.

I've been getting this question a lot lately: "What makes you different from the rest?". I tend to get a little annoyed at this question because I find it somewhat insulting when people can't see something special in me that differentiate me from others... but that's just the ego talking. In the end I can't blame them because I've been approaching this project somewhat in secrecy. Anyways, I'm gonna take this this opportunity to clear it up to the best that I can... So here goes.

There's a famous Asian popstar from Korea named 'Rain' that 'claimed' to have taken Asia by storm (I say claimed coz I can't help but get the feeling that his popularity was exaggerated). Anyways, for those that don't know, this guy's pretty much the closest thing Asia has to our own Justin Timberlake. He sings and dance quite well, and the look? well he was a model so...

Now it seems like this guy is a winning formula for success, right? Close.. but not quite. He did tour Asia and had his time in the limelight but he seem to have phased out as fast as he entered the industry, and I think I know where it went wrong, and this is what I'm hoping to correct.

See the problem with this guy is that he only sings (and can only talk) in Korean. As great of a performer he was, Asia is made up of multiple countries and thousands of different races who speaks different languages... so the majority of his target audience had no idea what he was really on about!

Don't get me wrong. I'm a fan of this guy. I respect that he tried, and he did it with pride as he attempted to do it in his own native tongue. He attempted to revitalize a stale industry by upping the standards.. making it one step closer to that of western standards.. but ultimately Music is about being able to allow your listeners to relate... and they simply can't do that if they don't understand.

That said, I'd like to think of myself as somebody who improves on this 'close-to-winning-formula' by eliminating the one thing that held him back: the language barrier. And how do I intend to do that? To do it in English of course - the one universal language that most of the population can understand.

Recently I explained this to a friend of mine who's a director of a major publishing company (who also happens to be my publisher) and he has no doubt that I'm capable of achieving this BUT provided I have a very strong label behind me. I couldn't agree more. There's plenty of great talent n music out there that never reached its full potential because of a lack in marketing. So, with no budget whatsoever and no label behind me, where do I go from here?

After much thought I've decided to start from the ever popular MySpace, along with many other free music-based internet promotional sites. I realized that I can't keep making music and not expose it. Though my intentions are sincere by holding on to it until I'm ready for scrutiny, I gotta face my fears and allow my music to be out there and heard and, yes, be scrutinized.

This is the only way I see left to allow me to proceed with my project. I could never get the budget for 'Asian market domination' on my own so my only chance is to create a buzz on the internet, if that buzz is due of course. From there I could only hope that people are receptive of what I've done so far and perhaps, if I'm lucky enough, catch an international label's interest. A long shot yes, but the best option at this point...

So, planned date of posting? January '08. Consider it the first thing I'm gonna do in the New Year. Look out for 3 - 4 songs, done to the best that I can with what I have, spread out on MySpace, Friendster, Facebook, Amp, Imeem, Pure.volume, Mp3 unsigned, and whatever else is out there.

The next couple of weeks will be a lot of tweaking and pulling strings to try and get the music to sound as good as possible before then.. so... WISH ME LUCK.

If you think you have any ideas that may help me I would really appreciate it if you could leave your suggestions by commenting on this post. Anything at all :-)

Monday, November 26, 2007

Not a good day...

I just noticed that all my posts up to this point has been quite positive. Even when I talk about the delays on my work I seem to have an optimistic view of it all. But realistically everybody has days where they feel so down and feel like just giving everything up. Well today is that day for me...

It's funny because the day actually started out well. I woke up at a desirable time and had a decent night sleep. After a delicious lunch I proceeded with my daily routine and started work on my music. Everything seemed dandy. So what happened?

To begin, you have to understand a little about my work. Now due to my inexperience as a producer my general arrangement method is pretty much to approach it by trial and error. I'd go over a million and one different things before I land on something that works. However this method is time consuming and can be extremely frustrating! particularly when you can't seem to land anything despite spending hours experimenting. So, today was one of those days and, yes, I'm pretty damn frustrated at the moment.

Now usually I'd get over it quite quickly, but there's something about combining this annoying event with my current emotional situation that has led to the amplification of lurking negative energies. I'm bored, extremely lonely, broke, and the last thing I needed was my creativity to hit a brick wall.

At times like this I usually get a little pissed off at the world and start to question "why does it have to be so damn hard?". I mean I'm composing my own songs, producing them, planning my marketing strategies, starting up a label, choreographing my own dance routines, and managing my whole music career... all on my own. No team, no budget, and nothing much else to keep me going but the determination to prove to everyone that I can. However, when I see 'celebrities' who seem to have simply shot to stardom without having to put forth a fraction of the effort that I've put in I start to wonder what the fu#@ is going on? It's bad enough that I won a talent contest and the whole thing fell flat on its ass, and now here I am still persisting on this career and shouting "I've got talent!" but yet nobody really gives a sh!t.

What ever happened to the concept of being discovered? Where are the talent scouts? Where's the recording deal? Where's the big-shot A&R telling me "you're gonna be the next big thing"? How come I have to spend countless hours of self-effort to pursue this while others have everything simply handed over to them? I gotta go through so much bullsh!t in order educate myself whilst, at the same time, trying not let the issue of next months bill payments worry me. Add to that the fact that the people I'm closest to are thousands of miles away and I'm generally going out of my mind coz I have no one to share my life with. I work alone, I sleep alone, I wake up alone, I eat alone, and (the worst part is) I suffer alone.

There's no one to run to when I'm in need. There's no one to make me feel needed. There's no shoulder to cry on. There's also no one to share my joys with. My smiles go unnoticed. My laughter only heard by me. My basic human need for affection completely deprived.

*Sigh* Okay.. it's obvious that what happened today (the failure of finding the right sound) was simply a trigger to something a lot deeper that I've been suppressing. By tomorrow or maybe even in a couple of hours I'll be back to normal again. I'm not asking for sympathy. I just wanted to lash out just once so that you know that this seemingly self-reliant, motivated, and determined artist is simply human... and I too have my share of struggles.

I wanted to share this because when I achieve my dream (and I WILL achieve it) I want you to know that there was a nightmare before it. Maybe you won't like my music and maybe what I'll bring to the table has no entertainment value to you whatsoever, but at least you'll know of the fight that I kept up to achieve it.. and I'm sure you can at least respect that.

So what now? Back to it I guess... grrrrrr.


I found this picture on http://www.candidsoul.com - Kinda explains how I've been feeling lately...

Monday, November 19, 2007

"So where's the JAM?"

OK so it's been 3 months to date since my birthday and so far there has been no indication whatsoever on the release of my first single (which I originally planned to be 'out there' by early September '07 at the latest). Not even a post on the web! - which is infamous for even plain nonsense. So what's going on?

I was riding high and it was all good during my birthday celebration (pictured below - just 'some' of the entourage) at a club when the song passed the DJ’s personal QC and pumped it on the house speakers. What a moment, hearing my own track mixed in amongst US R&B and not sounding at all out of place. Nobody left the floor... In fact more people came on to the floor as the DJ announced that the song was made by our very own 'local boy'. But all that seem like a distant memory now..

In the course of three months, that one track (The Weekend Jam) has not gone through much change neither. Sure I managed to have ONE session in a studio in an attempt to record proper vocals but there was never a follow up session to finish it off. My dear producer/engineer friend who had agreed to take on the project with me was going through some 'personal' issues that she had to deal with and unfortunately my project got somewhat sidetracked. No blame though - it's just how it is.

So there was nothing much else I could do but to fix the earlier recorded vocal track (done with my own SM58 mic) and make the best out of it, which I am still completely unsatisfied with to this day but fortunately have had the privilege of another dear producer/engineer friend (a master at mixing tracks) who is willing to help me fix-it-up.

One problem solved, but there are more matters that contributes to the delay. My fellow collaborator Constantine a.k.a. Johnny Blaque feels that his earlier rap is too mediocre and doesn't do justice to the caliber of the song which, on one hand, is a nice compliment but doesn't quite help the production time line on the other. He decided to rewrite his segment and, as much as I hate to say it, it has taken him 3 months and still no new lyrics on his part. Once again though: No blame - just how it is. You just can't rush art, right?

But to be fair ultimately the delay is mostly because of me. Since my birthday I have gone through quite a number of my own 'personal' issues, the biggest one worth mentioning is the recent departure of my soul mate, who has gone overseas to pursue a new career. Since August, knowing that we had little time left together, I have shifted most of my attention to her and her alone, cherishing her presence before having to deal with her absence, and leaving little production time.

After she left (roughly a month ago) I faced difficulties in getting back into my creative mode as I went through (and am still going through) a tough emotional phase. I spent most my time playing a game called 'dota' to distract myself from thinking too much as the Cubase interface simply didn't help. My active determination diminished into a hermit-like life and also faced sleeping problems.

"Only time can heal" most would say and I guess they were right as, despite my inability to cure my sleeping disorder, I am now slowly getting back into the music groove.

So here's the 411:

- Still no lyrics to his part on the song but Constantine has been hanging around with me and we've been dwelling into making new songs... and they are sounding great. It's nice when fresh and new ideas enter my realm of 'usual tendencies'. For example, I would have never thought of writing a song called 'KK-fornia'! We decided to bring that old summertime Chicano style anthem back describing how our beloved hometown (Kota Kinabalu a.k.a. KK) resembles and perhaps supersedes the ever-so-praised life of california. Hence, KK-fornia.

Note: I have no idea why he would post a demo and a very unfinished track on his AMP site but indeed he did so you can catch a glimpse of the track at http://amp.channelv.com/amp/viewArtist.html?id=22097


- Simultaneously we are also composing a song called '7 years, 7 minutes', a track based on how a relationship can take 7 years to build, but can only take 7 minutes to destroy. Deeeeeep.

- Inspired by my current emotional situation I have written a song about what I'm going through at the moment - which I will not write about just yet as it deserves its own blog that will make its way here in the near future.

- Those that have read my earlier post entitled 'The Weekend Jam' may recall that the song went through 'a lot' of versions before it made it to its final state. Well, history is repeating itself as another track of mine is currently going through the same process. Even the title have suffered the multiple change syndrome. From 'unknown' (as in literally unknown) to 'Too Much' and now to 'Waste of Time', the song is sounding great as my arrangement skill improved since I worked on it last.

So with all this happening, the question remains: "Where's the JAM?"

Well I guess it'll still be in the fridge (bad joke, sorry) until my man Johnny Blaque gets inspired, after which it'll then make it's way for it's final mix, and THEN finally you get to hear what I've been raving all this time about.

I can hear your thoughts. You're asking "Why not just post it now temporarily? After all, you did play it in a club!" Well, it's rather a complicated question to answer but here goes: That club thing was a test. I wanted to see whether the song will work in that environment in terms of arrangement quality, mix, & dance factor (It passed, though with room for improvement). Furthermore, it was only a '1 time' thing. To post it on the net would be allowing it to be scrutinized due to your ability to listen to it over and over again. As tempting as it is to post it right here right now, I have this 'thing' about presentation. I just can't bear giving out half-baked works and allowing it for criticism until I've given it everything I've got.

So, with that said, I do sincerely apologize to those that have waited all this time. I know it has taken a damn long time but I'm afraid it's gonna take a lil while longer. Trust me, nobody wants the track ready more than me... but Patience is a virtue they say, and as I mentioned before, you just can't rush art.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Weekend Jam

August 4, 2007 - First and foremost, NO this is not about how I had an awesome time on the weekend. 'The Weekend Jam' is the title of my first upcoming single that is soon to be released. This is the story of the long journey that it has taken for it to get to where it is...

The song was actually written a long time ago sometime in the 1998. It was thought up by my project group back in the days when we were studying Music Industry Skills in TAFE Leederville. It started out life with the name 'Consolation Lover' - about a guy who's girlfriend kept fuc*k!n around on him and only comes home to him when she 'couldn't get the prize'. Get it? He's the Consolation! Well it was brilliant at the time but the song never quite made its way into the commercial scene.

Fast forward to 2004 and I re-created the song with the intention to have my group (By'u) sing and release it on our next album. In the midst of its re-creation I realised that the original arrangement was way too bubbly to be a 'depressing' song. It felt more like it had to be a party song. Answering its call I had the lyrics and chorus melody changed to something more relevant.

The song became a girl/guy-duet-like tune so as to accomodate the 2 guys and 3 girls in the group. The story was about how the different genders would prepare for a weekend of partying madness.. and so the song title was fittingly changed to 'Weekend Jam', which derived from 'hiphop jam'. I remembered how much fun I had going to those in the 90's and also thought it'd be nice to bring the word 'jam' back into trend as everyone is just saying 'party' nowadays (boring...). The song had a great hook to it and was catchy... but unfortunately, my group broke up (unofficially) before we even stepped foot in a studio.

The data sat dormant in my hard drive for a couple of years until I finally got off my ass a few months ago and decided that I was going to finally pursue my solo career. I didn't want the song to go to waste and decided it was gonna be my first single. However, because I no longer had a group, I had to turn it back into a solo. Also, the arrangement (the one that encouraged me to change the story) got too old. It was just too '98... so I had to start by re-arranging it to a more current sound. The story remained unchanged, with the exception that this time it was only from one person's point of view.

Somewhere along it's 50% progress mark, I brought the song over to some 'industry' folx to get some constructive critism... and boy did I get it! They opinionated on the arrangement, the melody, the chorus, and pretty much everything else. The only thing they liked was the title! It wasn't that the song was bad, it was just not good enough to make it internationally. It was pretty hard to swallow at first I must admit, considering all the work I've put in, but I was determined to make a really good single so I put their opinions to good use and kept working on it...

By the end of reconstruction process it turned out to be a complete makeover. It's like blowing up a old building block and then building a new one! The melody (verses, chorus AND bridge), the arrangement, even the lyrics ALL changed. It became a 'totally' new song. You couldn't even see the resemblence if you compared it with the original...

Roughly 4 to 5 versions later! I've finally gotten it to a kinda Pharrell crossed Joe crossed Kelly Rowland ft Eve like feel... and everyone's finally happy!

Throughout the phases I was blessed to have somehow hooked up with Constantine - a DJ/Rapper who I reckon is currently the best MC to have come out from North Borneo so far (Pictured below during a break, which we seem to have many...). In the tradition of many R&B hits naturally there was a spot in the song for him to drop his rhymes. We worked many late nights together (though most of them were wasted on drinking and hanging out... hehe) and things were on schedule. We were confident that it would be released on 1st July 2007... but of course, nothing ever goes to plan.

Money problems striked (I am unemployed, remember?) and I had no funds to record our vocals in a proper studio. Worst, I couldn't send it to my good friend Greg Henderson (Multiple winner of ARIA & AIM awards) for the final mix as I had earlier planned (I couldn't afford his fee, not even at 'friends' prices!).

Determined to not let it stop me, I attempted to try and record on my own (see 'Wardrobe Records' blog) but that didn't quite work out either. I learned quickly that it was not easy to NOT be in control of my computer whilsts singing at a distance away. It was just too hard when I wanted to edit something on the fly. I had to remove my headphones, crawl my way out from the tight enclosure (which was covered with layers of bedsheets), edit, and then reverse the whole process to continue the recording. As if that wasn't frustrating enough, getting back to the exact angle on the mic was virtually impossible so the quality of my vocals were inconsistent. Adding that to the fact that I don't exactly have the right equipment in the first place kinda makes it all pointless. Arghh!

So what's an unemployed, broke, unsigned R&B malaysian artist to do? I kept to my commitment and still spent my fair share of hours per day composing and producing new material but I wasn't feeling like I was moving forward. My mind started to hint old habits and would occasionally whisper "get a job, get a job". Always the easy out...

A couple of days ago, my dad called and asked how I was doing. I reluctantly told him my sob story, afraid that he might give me the old "I told you so" reply (You know how parents can be when you decide to resign from your day job and pursue an unstable career instead). However, I got the shock of my life when he said to me "well if you need help financially just ask". WOW! I acted cool and said "Thanks, but I'm still gonna try and do it myself for now" but I couldn't begin to explain how it was truly a light in the dark (Thanks dad!). Despite not having taken the offer, it was rather motivational to know that my family had my back, which only meant that I must be doing something right... and somehow or rather, it just felt as if things were gonna move again. And sure enough it did...

Yesterday I met with an engineer friend as I was lending my voice to a commercial that she was doing. After much talking about my intention she surprised me with an offer that could possibly end all dead ends: a partnership! She's a talented upcoming producer/engineer and has been looking around for a 'real' project to work on (she's kinda sick of all the ads that she's been doing) and as fate would have it, we found eachother! Naturally I accepted the offer!

Now studio time is finally not an issue as she has full access to it. She has also agreed to mix and I'm quite confident that the result would be similar to that of Greg Henderson's considering she trained under him. We quickly scheduled the recording for next weekend and finally things are rolling again. Ok so most likely 'Wardrobe Records' won't live up to its proposed unwritten history, but you never know maybe at a later date, when a condenser mic, a compressor and a 2nd outlet system is in place (so that I can edit whilst I'm IN the booth), I may just give it another go... but for now, so long as the song makes its way out I'll be ecstatic! It has after all been almost 9 years!

So hopefully ya'll will get to listen to it by my birthday (19th August)... which would be like 'the best present ever!' I currently have this funny idea of releasing the single with the 4 other versions (I have remix of remixes!)... haha. I'm just being silly... but you never know...

Wardrobe Records..

July 10, 2007 - So I've been working on my music for roughly 2-3 months now and I thought I'd just blog a little on what I've been through so far..

See, when 'moi' decided to do an English POP R&B album I didn't want something that's just 'good enough for the market'. I want to create something that the whole world is gonna go "damnnnn. U sure the dude's from Malaysia?". However, there aren't many (or any at all) producers, labels, composers, etc etc in the local industry that can actually do what I want and even if they could, I ain't got the money to engage them. So, cornered and desperate, I'm faced with the only sensible alternative: do it myself.

The journey began in early May 07 when all I had was one very basic computer that was running on P4 2.4ghz, 1gig ram and Cubase SX2.2. Using only the onboard sound card the pc sat on the living room coffee table! I would sit on the floor and come up with melodies and lyrics and then attempt to compose corresponding music to it. It was fun n all, but limitations on my pc didn't allow me to get as far as I wanted and my ass was starting to hurt.

With a twist of fate my bro moved back here to KL and I finally managed to move into a bigger apartment where I get to set up in my bedroom and got to sit down on a chair (which broke recently though).

Then my computer received a slight upgrade due to a good friends upgrade on his own computer. His old P4 2.8ghz, his graph card, and an extra gig of ram made its way into my old thing and things moved a lot smoother. However, my onboard sound card was still a major issue.

My bro, god bless his soul, took pity on me and donated his Soundblaster Live Audigy 2 Value, which is not exactly industry standard but sounded a whole lot better than mine! The excitement was shortlived however as the damn thing had major compatibility issues with cubase... so... this is when the money started leaving my pocket.

I had no choice. I'm not in a situation where I can afford to procrastinate and not progress. So I had to part with Rm500 and purchased an ESI Maya 44 sound card (It might not sound like much to you but I'm unemployed!). Excited like a little boy with a new transformer toy I quickly went home from lowyat and installed it. Damnnnnn it sounded so sweet, even on my crappy e-view speakers.

So now the poota was finally ready for some decent producing... till of course I had to record vocals. Thanks to my mum I had an SM58 mic sitting around that she gave me for one of my past birthdays. But a mic is no good for recordng without a stand for it to sit on. I tried a couple of 'homemade' solutions like sticky tape it to a mop stick but they just didn't work out. So, I was once again cornered to part with Rm100.

Solving one problem simply led to another. My room was so bare that sounds are reflecting everywhere and making its way into the mic whilsts recording. Add that with a noisy pc and you get one very crappy vocal track.

After much brainstorming we came up with the idea to place all the ikea shelves that we have at right angles and then covering it all up with big sized cloths (curtains, blankets, whatever we can find). To further treat it, we placed all our clothes in there too! So it's like a walk in wardrobe now and vocal booth too! (I gotta give props to my partner in crime who helped put it all together with me... it was no easy task).

So far, after a day of tweaking and troubleshooting I've finally recorded a draft track on one of my songs with my gf as the sound engineer. I must admit the accoustics are good, but now the mic is not quite working out. Hmmm. I may have to take out my wallet again... and then there's the new speakers, speaker stands, keyboard...

The whole journey so far reminds of the movie 'hustle & flow' as they pretty much went through the same thing. I loved that movie, and I love what I'm doing. The passion that drives me everyday makes me proud to tell people that I'm pretty much a bum, but working on something big.

It's just the beginning of course, as there is still the album to finish, choreography to learn, the gym, the promotion, etc etc.. but when its all said and done, I'll be proud to say "you know what, the whole thing was made in my bedroom and recorded in my wardrobe!"



sorry no photo of the 'booth' unfortunately. Kinda embarrassing to show you my clothes!

Persist On Ur Passion!

April 2nd 2007 - Resigned from Synchrosound Music and stepped down as the company's A&R Manager. 2 1/2 years of income stability (not financial stability however) and suddenly I'm jobless... Oh my. What am I doin?

I'm chasing my dream that's what I'm doing. Yes that dream that I've had since the age of 5... that dream that most advised would be a dead end chase... that dream that came so close back in 2003 but yet was so far...

Singer, Performer, Recording Artist, or whatever you wanna call it, Yep that's the one. For most of my 28 years on earth I was so scared to approach it fully as I've seen many talented musicians fail and live very unstable lives... so I spent most my time setting up a just-in-case safety net. Problem with that is that my focus shifted to this safety plan and barely any left on the ambition part.

With a stroke of luck I came to attend a life changing self-discovery course several months back. It finally got me to question "all this effort on the safety net but is the net itself safe? I'd probably have to create a safety net for this safety net!"

Then it hit me. Nothing in this world is for sure. If I keep going this way, I'll just be weaving nets and eventually completely lose focus of what I wanted in the first place. And in the end, regardless of how so-called 'successful' I'll become, no amount of money in the world could compensate for an unsatisfied heart.

So I made a choice. I chose my dream... because when I close my eyes that's all I see myself doing so why not go for it. We have 1 life... why waste it on meaningless ventures?

I remember when I was a teenager and my friends (whom all shared the same dreams as me) and I would daydream about how famous we were gonna be... all the fame, fortune and girls... and I recall how involved I used to be in music and performing arts.

I remember how I used to record my demo's. Not earning anything at the time I made do with what I had and never complained about it.

I had a stereo that had 2 cass players, the 2nd one able to record the 1st. So I would grab the cheap mic that was lying around, sticky tape it round my ikea lamp (it had this mechanical arm so it acted a little like a mic stand), picked up my brothers old nylon string guitar, pressed record and strummed away the chords. When I was done, I would rewind the tape, switch the cassette into the 1st player, and put in another blank cass in the recordable 2nd.

Play no.1 and press record no.2. This time I would sing on top of the guitar I had recorded earlier. After that, repeat the process until I layered all the sounds I wanted. You guessed it: That was my multitracker!

Of course quality dropped DRAMATICALLY in doing so, but it got the job done.

Here's a photo of the actual stereo taken recently on my visit to Perth. Can't believe it's still around!


Eventually I evolved into a simple software called 'e-tracker' that allowed me to program samples... oooh I had fun with that. Then dance e-jay came out and that was simply bliss!

I then got into a proper digital multitracker called Cakewalk and finally I was introduced to proper multichannel recording.

I mentioned all this because I never quite realised how much more proactive I was when I was younger because I wasn't scared. If only I had kept it up I probably would be a decent producer by now.

So now I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm now running Cubase SX2.2 and I'm spending roughly 8-10 hours per day making music on my computer. In just one month I have learnt much more than I have in my whole lifetime doing it half-arsed.

I've learnt a lot about various softwares, arranging, clean recording, room sound treatment, how an SB audigy2 value soundcard makes such a difference compared to the onboard, and how a specific music production soundcard like my current Maya 44 makes such a difference compared to the SB audigy2 value (hehe), etc etc...

Of course this is nothing compared to what I will learn as I keep progressing but the moral of the story is this: I absolutely love what I do now and if I didn't walk around scared most of my life I wouldn't have wasted so much of its precious time.

But no regrets of course. Im sure it was the best choice I had at the time (or else why else would I have made 'em). But it's time to make the choice whether to continue with it or shift. So I'm shifting.

Now I get to make my own music, sing, and with enough persistence, will get to pursue the career that I've always wanted. No safety nets. No fear. No excuses. Just pure focus. Because guys, whether you like it or not, we all have a countdown timer imprinted in us. What meaningful thing are YOU going to do before it reaches 0?

Persist on ur passion!

About The Blog

In late 2002 I entered a 'reality TV' singing competition called Popstars. Proved to be popular in Australia the concept made its way to Malaysia looking for the country's own next-big-thing. By early 2003 my lifelong dream of becoming a singer had come true as I was announced as one of the five members that had been chosen to form a new mixed-gender group that was to be named By'U (Pictured below: I'm the one on the far left if you're wondering).

Like many products of reality tv we enjoyed a glamorous adventure. Our first single topped the charts, we received various nominations for local industry awards, we were the main hot topic in magazines, and we toured the country state by state performing to thousands of screaming fans before us. But like most celebrities would tell you, it's not all fun and games.

What you don't read about was how we were consistently ridiculed by backstabbing managers & agents, how we were struggling to pay our bills, and, amidst all this, how we were still required to uphold the pride and image that we were composed into.

As most would expect the hype soon faded and our main source of income (via shows) soon faded along with it. We were terminated by our management (who didn't see much business sense in keeping us any longer) and our label (due to disappointing record sales) leaving us little choice but to part our separate ways just shy of 2 years from the time we were assembled.

So you'd think that after facing the harsh reality of the local music industry that I would fear ever stepping foot in it ever again, right? Not quite.

You see the journey was not 'all bad'. In fact, I regret nothing and I'm appreciative of all the things that I have learned along the way, and truly cherish the network that I have built. I have since made great bonds with top producers and players in the industry. I've greatly developed my singing, songwriting, and music production skills. I even became an A&R for small record label which enabled me to learn valuable business lessons. In other words, I see the failure of the group as simply falling off the horse... and we all know what we should do after that. I'm now wiser, more well informed, more prepared, and ever more passionate about music.

But most importantly, as fun as it was being manufactured and taken care of (well... sort of) from the get go, I was always deprived of the one thing that I feel had greatly contributed to the failure of the group: I was not allowed to be ME.

So what is it about ME that's so different? Well, for starters my main language is English, not Malay. In fact, my Malay sucks bad. Having grown up in Australia I was not particularly expressive during media interviews and performances in Malay, which was 95% of the time as our label was targeting the major Malay market. This truly 'cramped my style' because I am a REALLY expressive person, and having to suppress that characteristic during our time really deprived me of my individuality. I was practically a zombie!

Being in a pop group also didn't quench my thirst of releasing songs that I truly wanted to do: R&B. I must admit however that I do enjoy pop music but only if the songs enabled me to perform extraordinary dance routines too. I'm a big fan of pop groups like N'sync & B2k because of how they brilliantly showcase the duality of singing and dancing simultaneously, and I was hoping that joining the group would allow me to do the same. But with a full album containing virtually no dance-friendly songs (at least not for N'sync type routines anyway), uninspiring choreographers, and inexperience group members, we were stuck dancing to 80's choreography which I am, till this day, still very embarrassed about.

So I think we've established what 'ME' is and 'ME' is exactly what my solo album will be about. It's about R&B, world class dancing, and no limit to expression... and I truly believe that the lessons that I have learnt along the way will help me get it right this time around.

This blog is like a diary that happily invites all those whom are interested to go through this journey with me on making my very first solo album..

Note: The first 3 entries (post this one) were written and posted a while ago on another site which I have only recently transfered here. I have placed dates on them so as to indicate when they were originally posted just in case you get confused with the post dates on this blog - a feature I'm unable to switch off!).