What Goes Around, Comes Around..

Not many get to feel what it's like to achieve a lifelong dream. I really do believe that it's something that no one could possibly imagine. Yes, granted you could picture the joys that you would feel by being able to do what you've always wanted... it's a little bit like getting a glass of water when you're extremely thirsty... but you couldn't possibly imagine the consequences that lies ahead, particularly to those that are closest to you.

See, the thing about achieving a dream, is that you naturally get on a (what I like to call it) 'HIGH' - particularly in it's initial stages. When things start happening, you feel invincible, because everything you touch seem to always turn to gold. Your life changes... and your horizon expands. New life, new people, new money... what's not to enjoy??

Unfortunately, the consequence of this is not so much to those who are experiencing it (at least not in the short term), but to those who had supported them before it all began. Usually loved ones, it is the people who held their hand on their way up to success that always seem to get the short end of the stick.

I admit, I am guilty of such an act. When my dreams were realised, I left someone behind in my hometown. Obviously at first you doubt that anything could break the commitment and the loyalty, so you say your goodbyes at the airport like you're just gonna be away for a little while. No big deal.

Then the HIGH begins to set in, and consequently you start to have countless arguments over the phone because for some reason neither one of you understand each other anymore.

She then falls into a bad state of depression. She doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, doesn't care about anything else but to have you home.. her whole life turned upside down due to your absence.

So eventually, she asks from you for the ultimate sacrifice. She asks you to leave behind all that you have going for you and come home... because she just can't hack it anymore. Like the air that she breaths, she NEEDS you by her side. She realised that nothing in this world matters except for your love. Not her job, not all the money in the world, not even her dreams. She just wants YOU.

You, however, can't seem to grasp what she means... or do you? It's funny how we tend to pretend NOT to know something when its convenient.

Guilt starts to eat you up inside, because you know it's selfish, but you feel that for once you deserve to be selfish... this is your lifelong dream! and it's everything you imagined it to be. Why should anyone stop you from having this?

This is where the HIGH begins to cloud your judgment. Before this, you wouldn't have even flinched on the idea of going home if the love of your life needed you. But now, you think differently. Now you start thinking stuff like "I'm coping well on my own, why can't she do the same?" So you still try to negotiate, but she's beyond compromise.

You're torn between two extremes... and the words 'small sacrifice for the greater good' start to whisper in your head. What else can you do?

You finally give her a call to break it off... only months from the time you first waved goodbye to her at the airport, you end the 3 year relationship. You settle on the most politically correct excuse: "I don't want you to suffer anymore. I want you to move on..."

So now you finally get to live your dream guilt-free... but you could never have predicted that eventually, regardless whether or not your dream sustains, the HIGH will end. The guilt will return, and you'd be lucky if it doesn't eat you up inside for the rest of your life or worst, karma returning you the favor.

For me, unfortunately, the worst occurred. Now that my girl is living her dream... what followed was virtually an identical series of events... except now, it's my turn to be on the short end of the stick.

I guess it's true what JT says; "what goes around comes all the way back around"... and I finally feel the pain that I myself caused to someone else before... and to have it end by the same politically correct excuse? Priceless.

I packed her things... and place them all in one corner... only to see this pile everyday... 5 years of beautiful memories... just waiting to eventually be picked up. Safe to say, it is the saddest moment of my life...